My parents sent me to boarding school so that they wouldn't have to help me with my homework.

Teacher: Billy, why have you not given me your homework?

Billy: I made it into a paper aeroplane and someone hijacked it.

Father: Son, what are your results in the end of term examination?

Son: Underwater.
Father: What do you mean, underwater?
Son: Below "C" level.

Old Chemistry professors never die, they just smell that way!

  Teacher: "Give me a sentence starting with the letter I''

Pupil: "I is-"
Teacher: "No, you must always say 'I am'."
Pupil: "Okay, 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet'."

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

This woman and her husband came out of the supermarket. She said, 'I'll put the shopping in the car and you get the baby.' The husband said, 'Alright.' And off he went. A few minutes later he was back at the car.

The woman said, 'Hey, that's not our baby.' The man said, 'Shut up, it's a better pram.'

Since a very long time ago, people have searched for the meaning of love. But even the great philosophers, with their profound definitions, could not fully touch its true essence. In a survey of 4-8 year olds, kids share their views on love. But what do little kids know about love? Read on and be surprised that despite their young and innocent minds, kids already have a simple but deep grasp of that four-letter word.

"Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way."

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."

"When someone loves you, the way she says your name is different. You know that your name is safe in her mouth."

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs."

"Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at him because you know it would hurt his feelings."

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss but they look happy and sometimes they dance in the kitchen while kissing."

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."

"Love is hugging. Love is kissing. Love is saying no."

"When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared she won't love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only does she still love you, she loves you even more."

"There are 2 kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them."

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they've know each other so well."

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."

"Love is-if you hold hands and sit beside each other in the cafeteria. That means you're in love. Otherwise, you can sit across from each other and be okay."

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."

"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken."

"Don't feel so bad if you don't have a boyfriend. There's lots of stuff you can do without one."

"Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."

"If you want somebody to love you, then just be yourself. Some people try to act like somebody else, somebody the boy likes better. I think the boy isn't being very good if he does this to you and you should just find a nicer boy."

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day"

"When you're born and see your mommy for the first time.

"Love is what makes people hide in the dark corners of movie theaters."

"Love goes on even when you stop breathing and you pick up where you left off when you reach heaven."

"My enemies taught me how to love."

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

"You have to fall in love before you get married. Then when you're married, you just sit around and read books together."

"I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her."

"Love cards like Valentine's cards say stuff on them that we'd like to say ourselves, but we wouldn't be caught dead saying."

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."

"Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."

"You never have to be lonely. There's always somebody to love, even if it's just a squirrel or a kitten."

"You can break love, but it won't die."

The Secret reveals the most powerful law in the universe. The knowledge of this law has run like a golden thread through the lives and the teachings of all the prophets, seers, sages and saviors in the world's history, and through the lives of all truly great men and women. All that they have ever accomplished or attained has been done in full accordance with this most powerful law.

Without exception, every human being has the ability to transform any weakness or suffering into strength, power, perfect peace, health, and abundance

The Secret reveals the natural law that is governing all lives. By applying the knowledge of this law, you can change every aspect of your life.

This is the secret to prosperity, health, relationships and happiness. This is the secret to life.
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Money

Money is magnetic energy. You are a magnet attracting to you all things, via the signal you are emitting through your thoughts and feelings.

To become a powerful money magnet:

Be clear about the amount of money you want to receive. State it and intend it! Don’t think about how much you can earn, but how much you want to receive.

Fall in love with money. Most people do not love money, because they always feel that they don't have enough of it.

Visualize and imagine yourself spending all the money you want, as though you have it already.

Speak, act, and think from the mindset of being wealthy now. Eliminate thoughts and words of lack such as "I can't afford it", "It is too expensive".

Do not speak or think of the lack of money for a single second.

Be grateful for the money you have. Appreciate it as you touch it.

Make lists of all the things you will buy with an abundance of money.

Do whatever it takes for you to feel wealthy.

Affirm to yourself every day that you have an abundance of money, and that it comes to you effortlessly.

Appreciate all the riches around you, including the riches of others. Look for wealth wherever you go, and appreciate it.

Be certain that money is coming to you.

Love yourself and know that you are deserving and worthy of an abundance of money.

Remind yourself everyday that you are a money magnet, and ask yourself often during the day, am I attracting money now or pushing it away with my thoughts?

Always, always pay yourself first from your wage, then pay your creditors. In that single act, you are telling the Universe that you are worthy and deserving of more.

Repeat over and over every day, "I am a money magnet and money comes to me effortlessly and easily."

Write out a check to yourself for the sum of money you would like to have and carry it in your wallet. Look at it often.

Do whatever it takes to feel good. The emotions of joy and happiness are powerful money magnets. Be happy now!

Love yourself!
Wealth is a mindset. Money is literally attracted to you or repelled from you. It's all about how you think.

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Relationships

You can completely transform any relationship, no matter what it's like right now.

Every single relationship you have is a reflection of how you feel inside about you. You are a magnet attracting to you all things, via the signal you are emitting through your thoughts and feelings. Every relationship you have and every interaction with every person, is a reflection of your own thoughts and feelings in that very moment.

To transform every single relationship you have in your life:

Fall in love with YOU!

Make lists of hundreds and hundreds of wonderful things about you. Keep adding to it every day.

Know that you are perfect. Do not think any negative thoughts about you.

Know that you are worthy and deserving of anything and everything you could possibly want in your life.

Focus on the wonderful things in every person. Look for only those things.

Do not blame or criticize anybody, ever.

Set an intention that you are going to see the best in everything and everyone.

Make your happiness the number one thing in your life. Happiness is an inside job.

Free yourself of the responsibility of trying to make other people happy. Respect and love them enough to allow them to take care of their own happiness.

Get your attention off those things in others that don't make you feel good.

Appreciate and love yourself in every moment you can.

Do not expect others to behave in a way you want, so you will be happy. Release yourself forevermore and know that you alone control your happiness and it is a choice, no matter what anyone else is doing.

Love and respect yourself completely.

Know that you are perfect right now.

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Health

You are a magnet attracting to you all things, via the signal you are emitting through your thoughts and feelings.

To open yourself up and become a powerful magnet to wellness and health from wherever you are now:

Love yourself! Deeply, profoundly! Make lists of all the wonderful things about you. Add to it every day.

Free yourself of any past resentments or disappointments you may be holding about you.

Let go of any and all resentments from the past you may be holding of everyone and everything.

See yourself as completely well in your mind and visualize yourself doing things in a complete state of perfect health.

Do not speak of your illness, or disease with others.

Love and appreciate everything and everyone, and especially yourself.

Know you have the power within you to heal yourself.

Never criticize or blame yourself or anyone else for anything.

Be grateful for the wellbeing that is coming to you.

See yourself as only well.

Be happy, knowing that in your state of happiness your body is healing itself.

As you appreciate, as you love, as you are happy, as you are grateful, you are summoning wellbeing and it is pouring through your body and disease is vanishing in the moment.

Laugh! Hire funny movies or recall any memories that make you laugh. Laugh your way back to health.

Make lists every day of all the things you are grateful for, including being grateful for your healing and complete wellbeing.

You must do whatever you can to remove your attention from disease.

Distract yourself from thoughts of disease, and put all of your focus and attention on doing things that make you feel good.

Make your happiness the number one thing in your life.

Resist nothing, love everything!

Know that there is no such thing as incurable.

As you love completely and feel the joy within you, disease cannot exist.

Know and accept that you are perfect as you are right now.

  

Hello.Please forgive me for not coming for a month.I had a hard time dealing with exams and after a hard struggle I'm now free.Now that schools are closed,I have more time to write in this blog but again there's a problem.These days I don't know what's happened to the internet.Many sites are filtered and it's sometimes impossible to connect to the internet.Do you know what is happening in our country,Iran?If you know,tell me!Anyway Summer has arrived and you must have a schedule for your free time.Please let me know.What do you want to do in your free time in Summer?